Confusing Times

When do you know it's the end? How do you know it's the end? I wonder that every day. I knew it was the end of our relationship a couple of years ago. I tried to find every opportunity to leave, but I was scared. When you are with someone for almost 9 years, it's hard to imagine yourself alone. I strongly believe this is the end tho. I can't even imagine myself being with him ever again. I sometimes feel hate for him. But he is the father of my 2 children and I know he tries to be a better dad than his dad was for him. So sometimes I feel sorry for him. He never had the loving, caring, and forgiving family I had. Is this his fault? No it's not. But I blamed him for all his faults. So am I a bad person for this? I hope not. Tonight was an emotional night. He came by to gather the rest of his belongings and I had to tell him that I had moved on. It was sad and scary. He blew up on me and told me that I was a bad person for not trying to work this out. He stormed out of the house yelling as he walked down the street calling me a dirty whore. That is one of the reasons why we are not together anymore. He can't stop and think before he says anything. I want him to be happy in his life, but every time he sees me happy he has to try to make me miserable. I might feel hate for him, but I also feel sorry for him. I'm so confused. I am now seeing someone, and wondering if it is too soon. I want to be happy, but should I have that opportunity? He isn't happy so why should I be? The person I am seeing is a wonderful person. It has only been a month or so, but I don't think I have ever felt so comfortable, and so cared for in all my life. Is this weird? I don't want this to be a rebound, because I care for this person very much. And what will I tell my children? I can't tell them that I am seeing someone, they wouldn't understand......I don't want to talk about this anymore.......Good Night